Dude, I've gotta tell you, I've only taken two courses of Japanese (got an A+ though ;D) but that Japanese that was spoken was really basic stuff that kinda made me cringe reading -- I would think if someone actually started speaking Japanese it wouldn't be sentences like "(I am) American. Please (do something for me). I am American." -- I'd lean towards the sentences being a little more profound than that, I'm sure if a Japanese person read these simple sentences and the way they're structured, they'd be all like "WTH is this?"....
Oh, and something else I think I should point out... "watashi" is mainly used for females... a man would say "ore" or "boku"... (ore is more "manly" and "boku" is softer, I think mostly younger boys use this version)
Thanks very much for the feedback! I am currently in the final stages of developing the play, and agree that I will need some help from native speakers I order to make this and other scenes believable.
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